Now every now and again one of your mates does something so epic and awesome it evokes a reaction such as 'You absolute LAD!'. This list is just some of the things that they could be:
Undressing during an argument
Now just imagine this; you're arguing with a girl, be it a girlfriend or a flatmate, any girl really. Now as she's laying into to you for whatever reason you have a stone serious face, but at the same time you are slowly undressing, one piece of clothing at a time. Let's see how long she can argue before she asks why you're undressing, to which your response should be 'Don't try and change the subject'.
Taking the ugly bird for your mate
The ultimate sacrifice for any wingman, going home with the ugly bird so he can take the worldly. Too many times has the ugly friend been the ultimate cock block, saying that she can leave her friend, etc. So sometimes the only option is for your mate to take a bullet for you, by distracting her attention by giving her yours. If your wingman/mate does this for you, know that you are true bro's and this action is not to go unpraised. Or he just really like butters girls...
Dismiss a girl immediately after sex
Imagine it: Meet a random girl in a club, bring her home. At this point you know she's got very little self-respect and definitely not one you'd take home to the rents. So that night you shag her, then to pull this off you would now take one of two options:
1) That night you bang her, bust a nut, make the most epic cum-face then, before you even take the johnny off you just go serious faced and announce "Get out." Just imagine the shock in her face...
2) That night you bang her, bust a nut, then turn away and go to sleep without saying a word. In the morning the first word you say to her is "Leave."
This one ain't for the sympathetic, it requires a lot of nerve and confidence.
Having a threesome
This is almost every guys dream; simultaneously pleasing two girls. Any man who walks away with this belt would undoubtedly be bragging about it to his mates for the rest of his fulfilled life. However, some guys seem to think that a two guys one girl situation is 'ladish'... No it isn't, you technically engaged in a sexual act with another man. Unless you of course swing that way, in which case, fair play.
Get kicked out a club for something legendary
There's a number of thing you could get kicked out for, however if you are going to get kicked out a nightlcub at least make it for a good reason. Here's a list of good and stupid reason to get kicked out a club to give you the right idea:
- Posing to be a barman and serving your mates shit loads of drinks before being found out - LAD
- Fingering your one-night stand to be on thee dancefloor - LAD
- Getting into a fight with someone you don't know - TWAT
- Too drunk - STANDARD
- Attempting to start a body board swimming dance move - LAD
- Harassing everyone around you, particularly girls - TWAT
- Playing hide and seek with your mates - LAD
You get the idea..
Sex in the shower
As if banging a bird outside your bedroom (or hers) wasn't enough epic enough, doing whilst something else is occurring... daddy. However you gotta have some serious tekkers and strength to be able to pull this one off. Depending on the shower you could be lacking in space and some lifting may have to occur. Probably one better to so with a girl you're very comfortable with.
Get a tit wank
This is literally the jackpot. Sounds simple enough, right? Shame it ain't. Consider all the factors you need; first of all a decent location, a single bed isn't big enough. Next is having lube around. This ain't porn, her boobs are still skin so it's not exactly a slip-n'-slide water slide on there. The final and most important factor is the girl. She'll need a big pair for it to be any good plus she'll need to be willing to do it. All these factors make this one very hard task.
Helping out a poor bro
Now this isn't as simple as it sounds, I mean giving your mate money can be a bit difficult when you're low yourself. However when you've got a shit load of your student loan left and your homie doesn't get his till next week, loaning him cheeky £50 isn't all that bad. Besides you know you're going to get it back the next week. That is one key factor this in this action, you need to trust this bro and be sure he can pay you back.
Now just to clarify this article doesnt just apply to lads. Any lass' who have done any of these will get the same amount of respect for any of these, maybe even more for some things...
